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Call to Action, Part 1

A passion for the plight of orphans has gripped my core since the first time I read the biography of George Muller.

I was eight years old.

His story of faith and his dedication to rescuing children continues to inspire me.

That book sparked an unwavering, lifelong desire to adopt.

To make a difference with my life.

To stand up, to protect, to speak on behalf of children in need worldwide.

My heart is continually broken over the plight of children left without parents, whether by death, abandonment or poverty. Many of the world’s orphans still have parents who, in desperation to save their beloved children’s lives, leave them at homes where they will be fed and sheltered.

Let’s do a little math.

According to CBS and NPR, the number of Christians in the world is over 2 billion.

UNICEF and global partners define an orphan as a child under 18 years of age who has lost one or both parents to any cause of death. By this definition, there were nearly 140 million orphans globally in 2015, including 61 million in Asia, 52 million in Africa, 10 million in Latin America and the Caribbean, and 7.3 million in Eastern Europe and Central Asia. This large figure represents not only children who have lost both parents, but also those who have lost a father but have a surviving mother or have lost their mother but have a surviving father.

Of the nearly 140 million children classified as orphans, 15.1 million have lost both parents. Evidence clearly shows that the vast majority of orphans are living with a surviving parent grandparent, or other family member. 95 per cent of all orphans are over the age of five.

UNICEF Website

Although not all children who have lost both parents are available for adoption, let’s use that 15 million number.

2 billion divided by 15 million is 133.

Assuming my math is correct, if roughly one Christian out of every 100 adopted an orphan with no parents, every child would have a home.

*Identifying as a Christian is not a requirement to adopt or love children. I use this limiting description to make a few points.

1. Followers of the Way generally try to do what God wants. Only three items comprise God’s definition of Pure Religion. One of them is taking care of orphaned children. (James 1:27)

2. People who say they love Jesus for real should be willing to follow His example of sacrifice for others. Not everyone can adopt or foster, but we can all do SOMEthing to help current orphans—or to prevent a child from becoming one.

3. If a relatively small population (one Christian out of 14) stepped up to help in some way, EVERY ONE of those 140 million children would have what they need.

(And if you’d rather just use the world population, 7.6 billion, of which at least half are over age 24, well…we really have no excuse for poverty, much less children without homes.)

You’ve possibly already seen those statistics. A topic less discussed is how to prevent a child from becoming an orphan in the first place.

I’ll chat with you about that option soon. For now, feel free to add your opinion below. 

 

 

 

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Adoption = Disruption

Disruption of adoption (failure to adopt when adoption is in process, but not finalized) is more common than you think. One qualification: if you are a foster or adoptive parent; this may be no surprise.

In most cases, disrupted adoption happens quietly. The children are “moved” with little fanfare.

Dissolution of adoption (failure of adoption after finalization) is less common but highly publicized. If you’ve never heard of the TN mom who sent her 7-year-old son back to Russia alone, call a moving company and find a house built on a rock, not under one.

As you may imagine, statistics for disruption are much higher for older children (listed as anywhere between 6 and 25%) than for children under 3 (several sources linked here noted that these stats are lower, but did not provide actual numbers). Per the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the likelihood of disruption rises 6% for every year the child’s age increases. The chance of disruption also rises with multiple siblings of 2 or 3 (but surprisingly, drops when there are 4 or more siblings adopted).

A child older than four is 13 times more likely to have a disruption, compared with an infant. Placement instability (the number of times a child is moved) also greatly affects a child’s ability to succeed in adoption.

Our kids have multiple risk factors, beginning with (but not limited to) the following: they were placed as a group of two siblings, they were older children (now age 8 & 10) and were moved at least seven times in two years (three of those moves within the 40 days before they arrived with us).

We not-so-affectionately dubbed our first two years, “HellonEarth” and “DefCon1,” respectively. Three years from D-Day (D for Drop-off), we’re finally able to relax and “be a family” most of the time.

Hubby and I both readily acknowledge that we, at times, contemplated disruption. What saved our family? He and I never freaked out at the same time. During HellonEarth, we had weekly “step away from the cliff” discussions. These conversations became sporadic during DefCon1, then obsolete after we finalized adoption about a year ago.

Throughout the summer of HellonEarth (I stopped working to be with the kiddos), I called Hubby every day around 4 pm, angry, frustrated, frazzled and tearful. He joked darkly to a friend that one day he’d come home to the three of us drowned in a bathtub. Although drowning was never a true danger, there were definitely times I empathized with families who disrupt.

Thanks to multiple counselors, support from our family and church, Hubby’s tenacity and strength, my hyper-vigilance and an unshakable faith that God put these kids in our lives and will continue to give us grace to deal with their (now occasional) insanity, we survived HellonEarth and DefCon1. I’d like to name this third year “Cautiously Optimistic.”

There are still days (and weeks) of frustration, but we’ve invested our hearts. We tell our kids, “There’s no such thing as ‘un-adoption’ in this family.” 

In heated moments, we remind each of them, “No matter how horrendous your behavior, regardless of what you say and do, and even when you destroy things like a wild hyena, we will never, EVER let you go. We will always love you.”

I think they finally believe it.

Up yours, statistics.

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