Chinese Lantern

If you’ve seen Disney’s Tangled, you may remember the Chinese lanterns filling the sky with warm light.

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Photo Cred: Chris Alcoran

Those lanterns are truly beautiful…in theory…with adult supervision…and safety measures in place.

 

 

See, this is inspiring, right?

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Photo Cred: Keith Williamson

Right?

Of course it is.

And a similar vision inspired our kid.

Sometime in the last month, our boy watched a “how to make your own Chinese lantern” video. This morning, he decided to put that knowledge into practice.

Without telling us.

I woke this morning to the unmistakable smell of burning plastic. Considering his propensity for experimenting, my first thought was,

What the heck did he put in the toaster?

I threw on my fluffy white robe and stumbled down the stairs.

“WHAT is that SMELL?”

Leaning against his doorframe with arms folded, I knew I exuded confidence in my momming abilities. Unfortunately, the fluffy makes-me-look-like-a-bunny-rabbit robe cancelled out my scowling face.

He immediately lied.

“Uh…I think that’s my toast.”

No, son, I’m sorry. Toast does not smell like Daddy did the day he replaced an outlet and found out our home’s previous owner had not marked the circuit breakers accurately. Shocking.

Our daughter appeared in the hall.

“Hi. I wiped the frame of the bathroom door, the spare bedroom door, my door and now I’m going to wipe the laundry room door.”

Due to some negative behavior this week, she earned a few extra chores and I told her last night that she needed to have them done before Daddy arrived home so she could have dessert.

Getting up in the morning to get them done is a strategy she’s used before, but giving me a detailed rundown of the few items she’s done is a clear signal that something weird is going on.

I thanked her and then stood in the kitchen, trying to figure out the quickest way to get the truth without the benefit of coffee to organize my thoughts.

The lighter on top of the fridge caught my eye.

“Hey. Did you see your brother with a lighter this morning?”

She paused. Froze like the proverbial deer in headlights.

“Did you?”

She shrugged. “Yes.”

I returned to his doorway. “What were you doing with the lighter? You have one chance to tell me the truth because I do not have the energy for this right now.”

He: “I was trying to make a Chinese lantern on the back porch. And SHE was laughing.”

She: “NOOOOOO! I was sitting at the table eating my breakfast! I wasn’t outside.”

After allowing them to spout about thirty seconds of conflicting stories, I said, “I’m going to look at the back porch. (To her): If I see your footprints in the dew, you are going to be in deep trouble because you knew he was playing with fire and didn’t come get us. (To him): If her footprints aren’t out there, YOU are in trouble for lying for saying she’s involved. You guys have from now until I get to the door to tell the truth.”

They both insisted they were telling the truth. No confessions.

Unfortunately, the dew didn’t cooperate. No dice on the footprints. The girl, however, couldn’t help herself. She hovered in the doorway, checking. I looked around and couldn’t figure out where the plastic smell originated.

“So, I can’t find the burned plastic…” I was talking more to myself than to her, but she answered.

“Oh, it’s right here,” she grinned, flipping the Welcome mat over. Sure enough, it was covered in melted grocery bags.

Then it hit me. The blinds were closed on the back door, and she said she’d been eating breakfast. At the table. If true, there’s no way she could have seen him burning the bag.

“So. You were here.”

Her eyes widened with feigned innocence. “I wasn’t outside!”

Mama Radar kicked in. There’s the tell.

If only she’d use her semantics superpower for good.

“You weren’t outside. But you were standing in the doorway with the door open. That’s why the whole house stinks. If the door had been closed, the smoke would have stayed outside.”

“But I wasn’t outside,” she repeated.

“Right,” I said, “but you know the issue isn’t about whether you were outside or not. The issue is that you stood there and watched him playing with fire. What are you supposed to do if he does something dangerous?”

“Come get you.”

“Did you come get us?”

“No, but I told him I was going to tell on him.”

“Right…but when I came downstairs, did you tell me?”

More pausing. “Well, no…because I didn’t want to get in trouble.”

This means that she was definitely involved, egging him on if not actually touching the lighter.

“Have we told you several times in the last two weeks that you need to come tell us if he’s doing something dangerous?”

“Yes.”

“Was this dangerous?”

“Yes.”

“Did you know it was dangerous?”

“Yes.”

“Ok. From here on out, if you don’t come get us IMMEDIATELY when he’s doing something dangerous, you will get the EXACT same consequence he does.”

She was not happy about this. We talked about it further and she finally admitted that she didn’t come get us because she wanted to see what would happen, then realized that since she stood and watched (and laughed, which she knows is his cue to continue), she would also be in trouble.

This afternoon after school, they both had to write a two-page single-spaced paper on the dangers of playing with fire, when fires are appropriate/safe (with adult supervision) and what one should do when tempted to play with fire (or watch). We showed them pictures of people and pets who’d been burned and watched a video of a veteran who’d been burned during a training exercise.

Hopefully we’ve seen the last of playing with fire. We explained to they boy that if he’d simply asked (and waited instead of following his impulse) we could have looked up the proper way to make a Chinese floating lantern and then created some as a family this evening.

I explained to the boy that Hubby would have created a plan including:

  1. How to actually build the lantern
  2. How to use it SAFELY
  3. Backup plan in case things got out of control

and he admitted he didn’t have any of those three in place. We assured him that we don’t have a problem with his creativity, just the impulsive behavior and lack of safety.

Maybe later this weekend we’ll make some lanterns.

Good thing I told the grocer I wanted plastic instead of paper…if he’d been working with a paper bag, he might have burned the house down.

In all this, I’ve also learned a valuable lesson.

Just because it’s above his line of sight doesn’t mean he won’t find it. No more lighters on the fridge. In fact, I’m just going to move them all to the garage.

And on the bright side, I recently listened to (Daily Show host) Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime.

He actually burned a house down, and he still turned out okay.

I’ll just lean on that hope for the next 7.5 years…

If you have a chance, get the book on audio (Audible.com or your local library); read by the author, it’s an absolutely gripping memoir of his childhood during Apartheid. Hearing it straight from Trevor (yes, we’re now on a first-name basis, since I’ve listened to it three times) is perfect. In five words: funny, sad, triumphant, don’t miss. 

About Casey

Adoption = my life. I'll give it to you straight. Success, failure, truth.

Posted on April 21, 2017, in Adoption, autism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.

  1. What a creative little soul your son is! Mine would never have even thought to attempt that, which may make our home a little safer, but man your lad has some creative juice running through him! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • HAHAHA yes… extremely creative. I keep reminding myself that all the best minds drove their teachers and parents nuts. I can’t remember which inventor right now, but I just read an article about how he kept taking things apart but didn’t put them back together…this gives me hope. Also, if you haven’t read Trevor Noah’s book Born a Crime, that one gives me hope as well. He actually burned down a building accidentally, and he’s syndicated… so things can turn out well. 🙂 He usually has a good reason for the things he does (not least of which is, “I wanted to see what would happen,”) but we’re still working on time-and-place and SUPERVISION REQUIRED. 🙂 A friend recommended that I schedule “science experiment” time each week and tell him that’s the only time they’re allowed. I’m not convinced it will preclude experiments during non-allowed time, but I’m going to try it. I just keep telling myself that someday he’ll invent something amazing and these will all be funny stories…

      Liked by 1 person

      • I read a post on someone’s site the other day, saying Brit actor Tom Hardy was expelled from school, was a crack addict and an alcoholic, was arrested for being in possession of a gun while driving a car. Now he’s an international star, Oscar nominee, millionaire. People make huge successes of their lives under the right influences and your son certainly has that! Keep the faith my dear 🙂

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  2. Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here and commented:
    From our own Hypervigilant, the word describes how she juggles so many balls on a daily basis which dealing with two traumatized children adopteded thru foster care system. She is a must read, her post always have a wealth of knowledge and she is very open to answering your questions.
    Xx M

    Like

  3. Hi Casey
    The Hacker/cyberstalker is off my back, the site is getting cleaned up and I need to understand what type of issue you are having with reblogging. It’s been an unpleasant ride and want to assure you, I want/need you at Survivors Blog Here. Sharing your experiences is helping more than you know. Your post are read often which is no surprise to me, you have the ability to share complex experiences to help others over come the same hurdles as you. I need you to stand by me while we work out the technical difficult with reblogging. I am reblogging the post to Survivors Blog Here.
    Our foundation is strong and You are a part of the foundation.
    Please advise thru email msandorm@verizon. net or leave a comment. I also need to break the habit of contacting you in comments and email you, that will relive any frustration and miscommunication.
    Xx M

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for the reblogs; sorry I wasn’t keeping up with that well. I’m glad things are better. How are you feeling lately?

      Liked by 1 person

      • OK, I’m in hospital tomorrow but back home by afternoon. I’m taking bold steps and leaving my Lyme doctor behind. Say a tiny prayer for me.
        I love your writing, you have a ton on your back, I have no issue reblogging for you as long as I feel your still committed to the team. I’m sending an email out, half security measure I learned thru the mess, money I’m will to spend on Custom site and Premium features. There is something not jelling with what the team is saying vs doing. I’m perplexed and think many may have lost confidence while, sick so long, hacker and email issues. Hell, I’m just learning to walk. If you pick up a vibe or comments please pass along. I will then talk to everyone separate and ask for the truth. That’s all I need.
        M

        Liked by 1 person

        • I will definitely pray for you. Honestly, I don’t think you need to spend extra money unless you want to personally. I’m always happy to contribute for as long as you like; sometimes I just forget. Hugs!

          Liked by 1 person

          • I want to stay forever, that’s how valuable you are to me. I don’t mind reblogging, you have enough going in your head.
            The surgery is minor , my Lyme doctor was careless and has left my port for almost two years. Horrible things can happen if gets infected. I’m pushing Lyme doctor and receiving treatment of a team of specialist. Noe the knee surgery is not simple it’s in two weeks. I’m trying to meet every doctor on team asap, get treatment done then all I have to do is manage ongoing symptoms.
            M

            Liked by 1 person

  4. What a story! Whew! Glad you are all safe. Thanks for sharing this story. I learned a lot. 🙂

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  5. Oh I was laughing , but at the same time feeling your scare, for yes fire can be so dangerous. Unfortunately my daughter learned that, but that’s another story. We so need to meet at a coffee shop and chat!
    Good luck with the Chinese lanterns this week-end. I have always thought they were cool. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Trevor, we miss you. 🙂

    A great read. A funny guy! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh gosh! What a scare. I have to say your household always has something adventurous going on 😉 Glad nothing else happened.

    Trevor Noah is a pretty cool guy! I like him. He’s hilarious!!

    Liked by 1 person

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