I’m Going In

In a few minutes, I will stand before a board of people who will tell me whether they will help us with our daughter.

I am asking for an evaluation by a company  committed to helping families with RAD kids. They record interactions throughout a day-long assessment between the parent and child and give observations and recommendations.

I know that it is highly likely there are things we can do differently to help reach her. Our problem? We don’t know what they are. This evaluation would give us that information.

Here’s what I plan to say.

The psychological evaluation from 2010, which was completed before she came to live with us, outlines the same issues we see now. In six years of therapy and behavioral intervention, her situation has only escalated.

If she continues the lying, maladaptive social behavior, cruelty to animals and pervasive thoughts of doing wrong, what do you think the situation will be in 6 more years?

In six years she’ll be eighteen. If she escalates further, she may be in the hands of the state. Yes, this intervention requires serious funding, but that cost is nothing compared to what her behavior, unchanged, could cost the state or even the people around her.

I’m asking you to help me find intervention that will actually work. It doesn’t have to be what I’m requesting, but if there’s a stone we’ve left unturned, please point me to that stone.

About Casey

Adoption = my life. I'm determined to give my kids the chance they deserve. Adoption isn't always easy. I promise, you're not alone in this. Join me at Hypervigilant.org - we're in this together.

Posted on January 19, 2017, in Adoption. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. I saw this a few days ago, but have nothing I can say to help – you’re so much better equipped at parenting than I am! How did it go? Did they give you anything to work with, anything helpful that can improve things over time? Been thinking of you, hoping it went well x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve missed your post on this. This is tough…and I’ve got nothing to offer:(, but how did the evaluation go?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just posted part 2. Thanks so much for reading! I really miss writing–between the job, the kids and dealing with Dad passing away, things have felt a little overwhelming. I do feel better when I write! 🙂 How have you been?


      • So sorry to hear about your dad passing, Casey. My condolences to you and your family and I cannot imagine how overwhelmed you must have been. Stay strong. Sending you my thoughts and absolutely agree that writing is a good therapy.
        Been a bit crazy in this part of the world, but nothing too much. I hope you’ll feel better soon, Casey. xoxo.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thanks so much. The family is getting through by mostly sticking together, so I’m proud of everyone for that. Anyone who doesn’t play nice just won’t be asked to Thanksgiving dinner this year…ha ha. Seriously, thought, it’s always rough to lose the family anchor, which he was.
          Be safe over there. Big hugs!

          Liked by 2 people

  3. Where you are is tough. Taking care of people is toughest. I don’t know of any institutional intervention that may be successful. If this sounds cliche, I would still say it though, take the recommendation if there are any. If there’s none and if you believe in a higher spirit or God trust in Him. Trust in Him that your actions and decision are His.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much–and you’re so RIGHT. I definitely believe that God loves her even more than we do and He will help direct my path (even though it’s usually just a couple steps at a time…it would be nice to see a little further ahead, but I guess it’s a lesson in trust). Thank you so much for the reminder!! Hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Pingback: I’m Going In…Part 2 | Hypervigilant.org

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