We Don’t Need No…
I just read a post by a mom who hopes to stop using an IEP for her special needs son.
Read her article (here) and then add your thoughts below.
Here’s my response:
I see your point, but I think I’d have to side with your hubby IF your boy is like ours (and the description is all too familiar). Here’s my reasoning: I’m not looking for legal protection against bad behavior; you’re absolutely right about consequences. Kids need to experience cause and effect.
However, the IEP forces people around him to consider his differences and be more understanding. I’ll give you an example.
At a theme park, I waited in line with everyone else to get my food. A young man (late teens) walked up, pushed past me, grabbed the food he wanted and pushed me out of his way again on his way back. He didn’t apologize; instead, he called happily to his mother, “I got the last one before anyone could take it!”
His mother, looking mortified and frazzled, told him to apologize. When he just stood there staring at the plate, she said, “I’m really sorry. He doesn’t realize.”
Having personal experience with Autism, I was fairly certain of the situation. Without that experience, I would have seen an incredibly rude young man whose mother obviously did not rear him with manners.
BUT his mother’s reaction confirmed what I suspected. Instead of being annoyed, I felt very happy for her that she could bring her son to a place like amusement park. So many kids on the Spectrum would be too overwhelmed to function in the chaos.
Of course, an IEP won’t help in public, but it will release some of the pressure in other settings. Asking people to treat a kid with differences as Neurotypical is unfair to all parties. He needs at least one safe place where people will attempt to understand.
My boy has made great strides but any teacher who expects a model student will be disappointed.
Unmet expectations = frustration.
The IEP allows reasonable expectations.
I don’t excuse inappropriate behavior and our school staff members know that. But there’s a difference in motive to be considered: a belligerent kid snapping pencils in half vs. the overwhelmed kid trying to deal with too much sensory input. Both look the same on the outside.
An IEP gives the teacher extra insight regarding whether this kid who refuses to stop snapping pencils should be sent to the principal or given a few minutes in a quiet corner away from chaos.
So anyway…that’s my two cents.
What do YOU think?
Posted on August 30, 2016, in Adoption, Parent and tagged adopt, adopted, adopting, adoption, adoptive, autism, behavior, children, family, foster, IEP, parent, parenting. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.