God Wink

REBLOGGED from Light-Hearted Will: Thoughtful post about her brother’s death. Since we’ve recently lost a dear friend to suicide, it resonated with me. I thought others might want to read it, also.


About Casey

Adoption = my life. I'm determined to give my kids the chance they deserve. Adoption isn't always easy. I promise, you're not alone in this. Join me at - we're in this together.

Posted on August 7, 2016, in Parent. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Casey an older messages said moving at nano speed, NOT unless nano backwards is such at thing. Very small steps, my body is better to a pulp from me throwing myself around the bathroom during the three worst days with the beast inside. When you have a mental illness you need medication to function, if the balance is off tiny amount no prob. If you see saw is up in air and down on ground there’s a huge problem. That’s where I’ve been. Lyme has taken my memory, without knowing I took to many Xanax which I require but when you take to many before a refill, it’s hell. When a drug is classified a Controlled Substance, which was created to slow down addition in America, only your doctor can approve even one pill. My Doc is half retired and this past Friday was the absolute earliest it could be filled without my Doc phoning the pharmacy. Withdraw on Xanax which I’ve taken for 15 years is starts to get nasty after 2-3 days. From there it’s straight to hell in a blink of an eye! I learned one thing thru this, exactly what Controlled Substance means.
    I’m sure you will file in your huge memory bank should you ever need. I’m off to take photos of what it looks like on paper when I come unwound.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, no, I’m so sorry! Mine’s not as
      severe but the Lupus does affect my memory. Have you tried putting up a chart (maybe using a sharpie marker on the bathroom mirror) and marking off each time you take it? I use Sharpie instead of dry erase markers so I don’t have to worry about whether I accidentally erased it and forgot. Sharpie is permanent but is easily removed from glass if you wipe with alcohol.

      Sounds like time for a new doctor! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I have resisted doing a daily checklist, part ego part I can manage all when I’m stable. Somehow all the information is ingrained from taking so long. I will have cowrite something in the future so my husband can glance to know I’m on track.
        As far as doctor’s, mine is one of the best in Texas, we have worked together for closing in on 20 years. I made the error because of not having a memory and no systems to tell me I’ve taken to many until refill. It truly requires two people to function, I’ve been hanging on to the illusion I could handle. I can’t so we’re learning a new way. If you see someone manage, hit bumps but manage you may think, they got it. What is underneath is a personal struggling to manage everything, mental illness, Lyme Disease and life. The lid blew off. I have to make the most changes, take meds on schedule and get 10-12 hours of sleep a day. That is hard for me to let go of. That is why I laid my guts everything out for people to read, those how give a damn will know my struggle and won’t abandon me when I don’t write for three days.
        The life of a crazy blogger. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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