Privileged White Girl


Photo Credit: Buck82


I have always been the proverbial privileged white girl. Poverty never touched my life. Challenges never threatened reaching my goals. An entitled upbringing stripped my ability to understand stigma, to empathize with the oppressed. I grasp no understanding of prejudice. I am not qualified to have an opinion about racism. Nor do I have full consciousness of what it means to be a person of color in American society.

Okay, none of that is true except the the last sentence.

Yes, I’m living the American Dream now.

House, vehicles, three dogs, two kids, one amazing Hubby. (Also, six and a half rescued cats. And a small lizard. He is not a bonafide tenant, but somehow he got into the Girl’s room and we haven’t managed to capture him. Big game hunters we’re not.)

My life has not always been so stable.

Please don’t misunderstand: I don’t pretend to understand the African American child who qualifies to receive free lunch at school just because I carried a free lunch card. I absolutely believe that many of my good friends who grew up “not white” endured an altogether tougher existence than I.

Humans get stupid when everyone’s skin color doesn’t match. Or their religion. Or their politics. Or their pinky toe shapes. We find all kinds of reasons to discriminate.

Americans aren’t the only jerks. Friends of ours returned from a mission trip to Romania with stories of gypsy children eating grass. Grass. Parents can’t afford food for their children because Romanians won’t hire people with a gypsy background. In some towns, a gypsy bloodline ensures you’ll be treated worse than Romanian dogs.

And get this:

They’re all the same color.

But I digress, because this isn’t really about color.

I promise, it’s not.

The people of our country feed hate in so many ways, creating factions and divisions. Sometimes, I understand. People on both “sides” find a soapbox or cause and stand together, which is not fundamentally wrong. If Martin Luther King backed down, he wouldn’t be one of my son’s heroes. We should all stand up to bullies.

But here’s one schism I just don’t get:


The problem’s pervasiveness flabbergasts me.

How does speech divide us?

We’ve all heard the stories of kids like Akeela. You know, the girl in the Bee. (If you haven’t seen Akeela and the Bee, I recommend watching.) A child of color decides to take her education to the next level. She begins to speak English correctly; her friends are derisive and her family is not supportive.

In Zootopia (which addresses stereotypes and stigma), sly fox Nick has a flashback about experiencing abuse and prejudice simply because he’s a predator. He decides to follow the less-than-legal path to adulthood, since no one believes in him anyway. He’s now grown; another character calls him “articulate,” expressing condescension.

This isn’t just in the movies. One of my friends conveyed his frustration with people who have “low expectations of African American boys and are impressed when one comes to them with the King’s English and home training.” A counselor—with apparent surprise—called his (African American) son “eloquent.”

A friend of one of my family members is a highly educated, well-respected individual in the community. Many people seek her counsel. And yet, when she visits her family, they ignore her and refuse to respond to her unless she speaks broken English.

Several weeks ago, I met with a speech therapist. In the course of discussing my son’s difficulties with certain letter combinations, I mentioned his habit of pronouncing “the” as “duh.” She gave me a few ideas, then noted, “it’s a dialect issue. Not your dialect, though, so we could work on that.” I asked what she meant. “We’re not allowed to correct dialect. But like I said, it’s not an issue for your son.”

Beginning to cotton on, I asked, “whose dialect would keep that sound?” She finally admitted that her team guidelines would not allow her to correct an African American child who pronounces the “th” as a “d” sound.

I can’t tell you how this made my blood boil. Not a literal 212 degrees, of course, because I wouldn’t be here to write…but I was MAD.

“So, you’re telling me that if I’d adopted an African American child, you would leave that mistaken pronunciation well enough alone?” She nodded.

How did speaking unbroken English become “white” and uneducated speech “black”…does no one else see the problem?

Education is the key to success. Hubby and I correct our children’s speech; learning to speak up, enunciate and articulate with clarity is a constant and consistent lesson. They happen to be white but we’d do the same for ANY child.

Have we forgotten history? In every case, oppressors limit education of the oppressed.

Illiteracy and inaccessible (or below-standard) education ensure tyrranized parties remain in “their” places.

This feels like a reasonable statement: literacy is liberty; education is emancipation; clear speech leads to success.

Am I wrong?

How about this.

Imagine two presidential candidates of the same skin color (any color you like).

Candidate A studied and researched our country, our laws, our beginnings, our trends, our popular votes (and I don’t mean people’s choice music awards), the reasons behind our legislation and the current state of the union. This candidate makes eye contact, speaks with clarity and authority, exudes confidence in his or her own ability to communicate.

Candidate B speaks broken English with a strong accent (country bumpkin or ghetto; your choice). Displaying a spectacular lack of understanding about the country, this candidate stumbles and mumbles through the campaign, mispronouncing words with rampant incoherence.

Please tell me: would you vote for articulate candidate A or unintelligible candidate B?

Being educated in general, not just in speech—and allowing that education to show—just makes good business sense for those who would like to succeed. (And yes, I know there ARE people who excel without clear speech, just as there are individuals who dropped out of school, skipped “standard” education and made piles of money.) As a rule, education and clear presentation are the best foundation for success.

And yet, as a country, we are telling young African Americans they should stay uneducated. By “we,” I mean the intellectual fops who decided incorrect speech is a “dialect,” the individuals who expect less of a child due to skin color, the people who don’t support a child’s furthered education and the jerks who make fun of an African American child—or adult—who is “ARTICULATE.” Since when is speaking well a detriment? It’s ridiculous.

Here’s my (arguably simplistic) view of what’s happening:

White people: “Stay dumb, kid, and make sure you don’t communicate well, so you’ll never be able to fight for your rights. Or at least, you won’t win.” 

Black people: “Don’t talk like a white person. You’re not white. Be true to who you are.” 

Professionals: “We don’t want to tip the balance of anthropology and sociology, so we can’t ‘fix’ incorrect speech.” 

Kids: “I worked hard for my education. I am well-spoken and confident. But I still have to deal with snobbery and surprise at ‘how well’ I’ve done for myself; plus I am stigmatized by my friends and family who assume I think I’m ‘bettter’ than they are. Is it worth it?” 

And here’s my (also simplistic) solution:

Can we just call it Standard English Education?

Because honestly, I know white people in Alabama who don’t meet the definition of “ARTICULATE” (no offense if you’re reading this). I mean, really. And I’ve got white friends in other parts of the country I can barely understand. Is this “white” speech?

I mean, they’re white, and they’re speaking, so…

And then there are the blue-eyed, blonde, Casper-white people who speak as though they just stepped out of the ghettos of New York and can give any rapper a run for his money.

Is that “white” speech? Because you, know…they’re definitely white.

What if we all just close our eyes to color and listen only to the words?*

What if, instead of “white” speech, we say “standard” speech?**

What if we provide equal education and protect all children from both derision and snobbery?

What if we allow, indeed elevate, children to truly attain the potential they possess inherent, rather than lowering our expectations based on melanin-to-epidermis ratio?

What if we remove the boundaries?

Maybe this is a tall order, but we can fill one ticket at a time.

And you’d better believe this: if we ever adopt again, that child will receive every possible service needed, including speech therapy…and if the therapist won’t help my child enunciate, I’ll find a way to do it myself.

Education is emancipation. Literacy is liberty. Clear speech brings success. 

Am I crazy? What’s your opinion?




*”Closing our eyes” won’t remove racism. My point remains: can we put politics aside to focus on education and what’s best for ALL our children?

**Edit: As you can see below, one of my favorite blog buddies made a very good point. Instead of calling it “educated” English, “Standard” English is probably a better term.

If you live outside the US, do you see this issue as well? If a man from Ethiopia learns to speak German without an accent, is he speaking “white” German? If a girl in Cameroon fluently communicates in French, is she speaking “white” French? Or are these individuals simply well-educated in the standard language? 

Do you agree with me? If not, feel free to rant about my idiocy below. I know that sometimes my view of the world is much too simple.





About Casey

Adoption = my life. I'm determined to give my kids the chance they deserve. Adoption isn't always easy. I promise, you're not alone in this. Join me at - we're in this together.

Posted on July 13, 2016, in Education, Racism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. You might take a look at the issue of the use of Pidgin (or Hawaiian Creole English) in Hawaii.

    I used to make this same argument – that people should speak “proper” aka “educated” English. But I no longer believe that to be the case.

    But a lot of “educated” people choose to speak in Pidgin for reasons you might not expect. Some of those are political and some are social. I haven’t studied the use of “black vernacular” English, but I have done a bit of studying of Pidgin and its use when I attended the University of Hawaii, and I imagine that there are similar reasons for using non-standard English among the black community in the U.S.

    I think calling it “educated” language is a mistake because it could erase the educational achievements of those who choose to speak in a non-standard dialect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • This is great. I can see where you’re coming from. Maybe “educated” isn’t the best word. I’m reading through “Elements of Style” by Strunk & White (yep, E.B. White, author of Charlotte’s Web)…the little book lays out rules of what I’d consider American English. They’re fairly dogmatic about what makes good writing (and talking). Most online grammar sites I’ve seen follow similar or identical rules. Instead of “educated,” would “standard English” be more appropriate? Or do you think there’s a better word?


      • In all the research papers I read, “standard English” was the…. Standard. Heh. And then to describe any dialect or vernacular, there is usually a “proper” term for that as well as in the case of Pidgin or HCE… Which has actually now been recognized as one of Hawaii’s official languages as of 2015!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. In South Africa we have a huge number of different languages, cultures and accents. I know non-white people who are judged for their ‘white’ accents when speaking English – but I know others who are judged for their ‘non-white’ accents. Essentially, everyone looks down on those who speak differently to themselves, and I think both sides are wrong. So I don’t know if I entirely agree with you – I think that we have negative stereotypes about certain dialects/accents, which is definitely problematic. (By the way, I had to look up the difference between dialect and accent and it was quite interesting! –
    My question is, how do you teach a child to speak correctly without teaching her that her parents are wrong, that her culture is defective? Who defines which pronunciation is the correct one? Why do we assume that someone with a heavy accent is ill-educated? I know that you and I must speak very differently, but I am still considered articulate when I visit the US. I drop the Rs off of the ends of my words – why is that acceptable when pronouncing THs as Ds is not?
    When I speak a language other than English (rarely – a sign of the huge privilege of English speakers in SA) people are appreciative – they do not judge me for my poor accent. At the same time, I know that my father’s perfect Zulu accent gains him a lot of respect from Zulu speakers.
    Essentially, I’m saying I have no idea – but it’s definitely something we need to talk about. Thank you for the post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Casey
    Another thought other than please reblog, Our society is to politically correct which avoids people from having conversation. I don’t care who you are, your true inflection doesn’t come thru on text or email. I’m not talking the fifties, just the powers that be quit trying to make everything so good and we all set around, leaving guns at door and signing Cum Ba Ya.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I reblogged to the group site. You’re welcome to reblog to your site if you like. I’m hoping to start a conversation. Thanks as always for sharing your thoughts and opinions!


  4. Hi Casey
    My husband and I were talking about the same last light. Haven’t we passed the bullshit! Kids and teens should be allowed to find out who they are and have every opportunity to achieve. We are going backwards 50 years with race relations. Why do we have to say race relations, we are Americans. People is certain states/circumstances are not getting the attention, it’s all students. I am concerned we are going backwards in some ways and it doesn’t have to be that way. We have to hold people accountable, all financial groups, every color, Judges, Law makes, Law makers need to serve the people and not themselves.
    This is a timely post well written. Please reblog so people can think hard about what is closing in around us.
    Great job Casey.

    Liked by 1 person

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