Things I’ve Learned from My Adopted Children

Assignment two for Writing 101: write a list 

Things I’ve Learned from My Adopted Children

Sometimes kids are angry

Angry kids can hold a grudge for a really, really long time

Angry kids can scream for a really, really, really, really long time

Angry kids tend to have a number of negative behaviors

In general, negative behavior is not the real problem, but the symptom

Determining the actual issue behind the behavior may require counselors, behavioral aides, play therapists, psychiatrists, neuro-psychological tests, hours of discussion over several years, sleepless nights, screaming fits (on the part of both parents and children, if we’re being honest), and possibly a privately funded investigator (we haven’t gotten that far yet; I’ll let you know)

“Attention getting” takes on a whole new meaning with children of neglect

Positive attention is wonderful for both children and parents

Negative attention is just as good (in a child’s mind) as positive attention—maybe better, because it usually lasts even longer

Creating negative situations is the best way to get negative attention until the parents catch on, which may take two to three years (we’re now onto them)

A five year old boy can scream louder than a wild hyena

A seven year old girl can be more stubborn than a full-grown male goat

Two parents can be more stubborn than either, but cannot scream louder (we tried)

Spending three years in hell and a fourth year in purgatory can result in a fifth year of rewarding results

Watching two children blossom and grow into kids with a bright future is unbelievable

Seeing their eyes light up when they finally grasp the math concept or decide on the right behavior without prodding is incredible

Hearing them say, “I love you, Daddy and Mama,” can almost make you forget three years of hell (almost)

Adoption is not easy, but you know…nothing of true value ever is

About Casey

Adoption = my life. I'll give it to you straight. Success, failure, truth.

Posted on September 14, 2015, in Adoption, Blogging101, Parent, parenting, Writing101 and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. How beautifully said

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great list, Casey – heartfelt, warm and funny 🙂
    Can someone tell me what is it with the negative behaviour? I never get why my son thinks it’s a great idea to try and wind me up/ make me angry to prompt a response. Making me a cup of tea and giving me a hug will get just as much attention – and in a positive way where I don’t put on the ‘angry mum’ voice!

    Like

  3. You said it! “Nothing of true value is ever easy.” I suppose that is why we value it so much, because we paid so much for it. How much value we must have to our Father (knowing me, I can never fathom why!)! I often see myself in your kids . . . and my Father in your love which continually perseveres no matter the cost. Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, there are definitely days when I’m telling the kids, “JUST OBEY. YOU DON’T NEED TO ASK FOR A REASON.” And then I hear the quiet voice behind me going, “Exactly.” 😉

      Like

  4. The hardest challenges have the largest payoffs. I’m so glad you are reaching the payoff part.
    Stronger than a adult male goat is pretty strong.
    🙂
    M

    Liked by 1 person

    • Based on this week, I may have spoken too soon about that payoff…ha ha.

      Yes, I tried to think of the most stubborn animal I know, aside from our Beagle-Basset hound mix (who is absolutely the most disobedient dog on the planet, unless there is food in my hand…)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m happy to hear things are settling in. I’m not sure if you have other children but they don’t have to be adopted to have issues.

    Liked by 1 person

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