Sporting Goods and Private Parts
So, the boy heard an unfamiliar word. Following our pre-determined Protocol for New Word Acquisition, he cornered me alone for a definition.
“Mama, what does ‘dick’ mean?”
With as straight a face as I could manage and the most nonchalant air possible, I asked, “How was it used in a sentence?” (I learned the importance of this question when he came home from Sunday School asking whether “ass” and “hell” are bad words.)
“A boy in my class called another boy that.”
“Ah. Well, it’s another word for male privates. We don’t use it, because it’s just silly to call someone a body part…I mean, would you say, ‘you big toe!’ or ‘you’re such a calf muscle!’ to insult someone?”
He laughed, shook his head and wandered off.
Later that week, we went to a shopping center.
Walking to the car, hand in hand, he suddenly stopped short in the middle of the parking lot, staring.
I thought he’d seen something awful, but didn’t find anything out of place. Scanning the sea of vehicles, I asked, “What, honey?”
He whispered, “How COULD they? Why would ANYONE name their store after a penis? Are they crazy? No one will shop there.”
Following his line of sight, I spotted “Dick’s Sporting Goods.”
Laughing, I explained that Dick is also a nickname for Richard, and the man who started the store was probably named Richard. “Kind of like ‘ass’ can be a not-so-nice word, but it can also just be the name of an animal.” He got it.
Hubby, just ahead of us with our girl, noticed we were lagging. “What’s going on back there?”
“He just wanted to know why the store is called ‘Dick’s Sporting Goods.'”
Our daughter, naively logical to the core and absolutely unaware of the not-as-nice definition, called back to us, top-volume, “Well, they probably sell things for Dicks and things for Sports.”
The little old lady getting into her Toyota across the lot is convinced we are the worst parents EVER.
Ah, new words…
Posted on May 18, 2015, in Adoption, parenting and tagged adopt, adopted, adopting, adoptive, body parts, calf muscle, Dick's Sporting Goods, hell, New Words, privates, Richard, Sunday School. Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.