My Life’s Soundtrack

Today’s Writing101 Prompt: Write about the three most important songs in your life — what do they mean to you?

Music plays in my head all day. Choose three songs…the choice is almost as impossible as picking my favorite organs. (The ones that keep me kickin’, not the musical instruments.)

However, I must admit, three happen to be currently at the top of my cerebral playlist.

First, a quick backstory for those who haven’t read other posts:

Hubby and I adopted two kids (5 & 7 when they came to us via foster care). My good friend, an English teacher, says bambinos are “children,” not kids. “Kids” are baby goats. In our case, “kids” is accurate; a herd of goats might have been less destructive. More often, we call them the wild hyenas.

During the first six months, if they were conscious, we couldn’t let them out of our sight. With one who didn’t conk out until after midnight, and one who woke screaming almost every morning at 3 am, sleep was a pipe dream (pun intended).

Our social worker frequently made clear her opinion that we were under-qualified as parents, and all four of us were terrified she would show up and pack them off to destinations unknown. Both children communicated mostly by screaming, crying, and shrieking. We prayed things would get better, but just weren’t convinced it would happen. Some days, Hubby and I were ready to give up (and so were the hyenas).

The first time I heard Mandisa’s song Overcomer, we were in the middle of HellonEarth. I cried. A lot.

Pretty sure drivers around me thought I was inebriated.

Staring at a stop sign                      (actually, at a red light)
Watching people drive by                (yep, there they go…take me with you!!)
T Mac on the radio                          (in this case, Mandisa on the radio)
Got so much on your mind             (will these kids survive to age 18? Will we survive them?)
Nothing’s really going right             (are you reading my mind?)
Looking for a ray of hope                (ANY DAY NOW)
Whatever it is you may be going through  (what are we NOT going through?)
I know He’s not gonna let it get the best of you  (thank God.)

You’re an overcomer                       (not feeling it)
Stay in the fight ‘til the final round    (if you say so…)
You’re not going under                      (sure feels like drowning)
‘Cause God is holding you right now  (rescue me!)
You might be down for a moment    (no kidding)
Feeling like it’s hopeless                   (that’s right)
That’s when He reminds You          (hey….)
That you’re an overcomer                (I am?)

You’re an overcomer                      (I SO AM! We are GOING TO MAKE IT!)

By the end of the song, I felt so much better and incredibly encouraged. The kids now know this song by heart, and we all belt it out together when KLove plays “our” song.

For almost two years, our boy woke up screaming. PTSD is a nasty, horrible affliction no one should have to experience, especially a child. About halfway through the second year, he heard the Newsboys sing “God’s Not Dead.” Something about that particular song resonated with him, particularly the line about “roaring like a lion.”

He’d been roaring for a really long time (both figuratively and literally). Slowly, we began to experience a change. Instead of being startled awake by screams, we were serenaded. Loudly, mind you (this kid can project like no child I’ve ever heard), but singing instead of screaming. Bliss.

Let love explode and bring the dead to life
A love so bold to bring a revolution somehow
Now I’m lost in Your freedom
In this world I’ll overcome

My God’s not dead
He’s surely alive
He’s living on the inside
Roaring like a lion
Roaring, He’s roaring, roaring like a lion

Finally, the one we sing with double meaning, TobyMac’s Me Without You. Without God, we’d be drowning. Without each other, we’d be sunk.

Stepping through the scene
There’s You and there’s a very different Me
Touchdown, You had me at believe
You had me at believe, You did

Where would I be?
You rescued me
You are mine, I am Yours
You rescued me
And I am Yours forever
You saved me, remade me,
Where would i be?

I’d be packing my bags when I need to stay
I’d be chasing every breeze that blows my way
I’d be building my kingdom just to watch it fade away
It’s true
That’s me without you
Don’t know where I’d be without you

This last, even more than the others, my boy and I have claimed for ourselves. Whenever it plays, he shouts, “Mama, our song!” If we’re home, we dance around the kitchen.

For a child who was constantly packing bags (or having them packed on his behalf) and who had a 3 cm hole in his tiny heart, this song is profound. Who knows where he’d be? Definitely packing bags, and perhaps not alive much longer, if God had not brought him straight to us.

So. Those are my three. What are yours?

**Due to the fact that I’m in the middle of filing taxes (I procrastinate every year…I’m nothing if not consistent…), I sort of cheated and reposted one I wrote earlier.  


About Casey

Adoption = my life. I'm determined to give my kids the chance they deserve. Adoption isn't always easy. I promise, you're not alone in this. Join me at - we're in this together.

Posted on April 8, 2015, in Adoption, Writing is fun, Writing101 and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. OH Casey, I LOVE all 3 of your songs! They each have personal meaning to me as well. You choked me up in this post. With God’s help we are Overcomers! Bless you all as you journey through this life hand in hand being Overcomers

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay you have me in tears. Sad tears and happy tears god bless you and your family

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have no kids ….but I could feel what you were going through. Thank God for Grace and thank Him for bringing those lovely ones into your lives. What are you four without each other… And what are you without God. Deeply inspired.

    Oh and on the videos I knew the songs so didn’t open but I am sure they are amazing help to those who don’t know yet still want to relate or want the same encouragement.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post. Thank goodness there are amazing people like you in the world! X

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love how you write! I felt as I was there through the shrieking hour and along on the ride. I can relate somewhat as my child had PTSD. I think he still does at times, but he is thriving as I suspect your son is as well. Kudos for hanging in there as some parents do not! Your humor is a nice pick me up and source of encouragement that I plan to make a part of my days. Keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for reading! Did you write about the PTSD on your blog? Just curious. It’s always weirdly nice to meet others who’ve been through similar issues…the situation isn’t lovely for anyone involved, but comforting to have someone who can relate. Really enjoyed reading your blog! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes I have 2 posts toward the bottom. It is something I did extensive research of literature on. My youngest was abused and so I read everything I could find. I learned a lot and therapy helped him. The system failed from doctors to protective services, but my lawyer recommended a wonderful therapist that saved my son and me too…brought us back to normal. What I found intriguing is many behavioral issues stem from the neuro chemical reactions in the brain, and in my son’s case from lesions of the brain. Specialist have found where the lesions heal approximately in 1-2 years, but the neuro chemical reactions affect their endocrine system (hormones) as well as their hypervigilance and other behavioral symptoms. NPR did a story on a study comparing returning combat vets with PTSD to abused children and found that levels in vets returned to normal eventually, whereas the childrens’ levels remained elevated. The story was very well done. I do not write about my son’s PTSD or the abuse on my blog, as he has moved on…thankfully.

        Liked by 1 person

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