Rodent Rehab and Lush Puppy

Last night’s story, as promised.

As you may have surmised from my last post, it’s been rough around here the last few days (weeks…months…). The kids have been less than cooperative. Yesterday, I finally hit a breaking point and asked them to list all the things Hubby and I do that show we love them. They compiled a rather extensive list (I was impressed, actually).

“So, we do all these things for you, every day, all day long. Now I want you to make a list of the things you do to show that you love us.”

They looked at each other for about a minute, then back at me. “Nothing.” “We don’t.”

I couldn’t decide whether to be relieved that they understood, or disturbed that this epiphany didn’t seem to faze them. I asked what they thought they could do about it.

“Obey.” “Stop doing the opposite of everything you tell us.”

High hopes after the conversation. We’ll see what happens…we’ve had similar talks in the past. Hubby and I decided that there IS headway. The highs and lows downgraded from Peruvian Andes to Rocky Mountains. This life is exhausting, but if our progress stays steady, by the time they reach adulthood, we should be kicking fully functioning members of society out of our nest.

So anyway.

I really, really like margaritas, so I have them about four times a year. (I know, I should probably cut back.) We went out of town for a weekend and I’d bought one of those freeze-a-margarita-in-a-pouch drinks while we were there, as we don’t drink in front of the kids and don’t usually keep it in the house. (Remind me to tell you the Tiramisu story another time.)

We never got around to drinking it, so it migrated home in the cooler. Last night, I thought, “Ahhh…it is time.” So I retrieved the little sucker, squished it until slushy and squeezed it into a styrofoam cup. Settling into our soft sofa, I opened my laptop to read a few blog posts.

After two sips of sweet, tart, frozen liming-on-the-Trini-beach-ness, my phone rang. Hubby was calling from the back yard. He makes fun of me for calling from the house to the garage instead of walking out to talk to him, so this was something new. Therefore, I answered. “Oh-lo?”

“Hey. You should come out back. I found a ‘possum. He’s…playing ‘possum.” (You see how I got around my dilemma of possom vs. opossom… “one is spelled correctly but doesn’t look right…the other sounds right but isn’t…ahhh, use an apostrophe.” It’s not world peace, but it’ll do.)

I set my cup on the table next to the couch and hightailed it outside. Two dogs and six or seven cats were circling like fuzzy, four-footed sharks (the beagle had been curled next to me on the couch and I left him inside). Dragging the German Shepherds away from the furry bundle, I shut them inside and ran back to Hubby. He wore an odd expression. “He might not be playing dead.” There was blood in the silvery fur. The little guy didn’t move.

Hubby went to the shed and came back with a shovel. “I’ll go dig a hole.” In the flashlight beam, we suddenly saw the ‘possum twitch, heaving for air. Hubby groaned, “Oh, no. He’s still alive.” We stood together, watching. Shaking his head, Hubby walked off into the woods. I heard the shovel bite the earth. He returned a few minutes later, and we looked again.

This time, the little guy seemed to be struggling less. We covered him with a towel. “Should I call animal control?” I asked. He nodded (Hubby, not the animal, although I’m sure Little Fuzzy agreed, too). By this time, it was after 11 pm and animal control was closed, but the non-emergency police dispatcher made a couple calls. Five minutes later, I was in touch with a volunteer Wildlife Rehabilitator. Turns out she lives about eight minutes from our house.

“Just pick him up by the tail and put him in a cardboard box. If you grab the tail, it can’t bite you. And anyway, they’re very docile. They only bite if completely cornered. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Grab him by the tail, indeed. Little Fuzzy’s face was actually on top of his tail, and every time we got too close, he opened lips to show his four thousand (slight exaggeration) sharp teeth. So, that was a big ix-nay on the ail-tay. Emboldened by her no-biting promises, however, we both scratched him gently behind the ear. He seemed to like it.

When she arrived, the Wildlife Rehab lady scooped him up like a cat, no problem. She and her teenage son inserted him in a small animal carrier. She agreed he was probably hanging around for the free food, since we have a small swinging animal door to the garage, where we feed the felines. “He looks okay. Probably just needs a few days of rest. Once he’s better, I’ll bring him back.” Not sure how I felt about this, I didn’t argue, lest she dump him back on the lawn for us to rehab.

After she left, Hubby and I let out a combined sigh of relief that we did not, in fact, have to dispatch a near-dead animal. We went back inside; I trotted upstairs to retrieve my drink, surely melted by now. I’d re-freeze it for another day.

The cup was not where I’d left it.

I found it, carefully moved from the end table and now wedged upright in the corner of the couch, not a drop spilled.

But it was empty.

My first thought: “One of the kids came upstairs, drank the ‘slushy’ and now I’m going to jail.” Then I saw the beagle. Weaving.

I went downstairs, the dog following. He normally bounces down the steps…this time, I’d call it more of a slide. He stumbled off the last step and landed against the wall, where he remained, leaning.

Looking more closely, I asked the dog, “Are you drunk?” He grinned at me, eyes half closed, tongue lolling. One happy pup. “You, sir, are under age. Even by dog years. No more margaritas for you.”

Hubby called from upstairs, “What are you talking about?”

My answer, I suddenly realized, summed up my entire day.

“The dog drank my margarita.”

About Casey

Adoption = my life. I'll give it to you straight. Success, failure, truth.

Posted on March 30, 2015, in Adoption, Writing101 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.

  1. You see, I told you the truth would be funnier than anything I could make up!

    This is priceless, Casey! And thanks for the inspiration! It was fun to invent a story about an opossum in rehab and a puppy in detox.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. OH I feel for you, I remember doing that for our daughter and yes she loved staying up,thought it was a party! I on the other hand. Hopefully you get a nap today and will be praying about the results!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, she lived staying up. If you don’t mind the question, why did yours have to go?

      Like

      • How did the test go? When do you find out the results? I don’t mind the question at all. She was having issues of spacing out, she just would go into a blank stare, she also wasn’t talking well at all. They were thinking she could be having epileptic seizures. Apparently going into a blank stare can be considered a type of seizure. She was much younger than your daughter, she was 3 years old. It turned out that she was diagnosed with Atrial Flutter Tachycardia. Her heart rate was going up to almost 300! Her blank stares were coming from episodes of when her heart would be beating really fast. With speech therapy her speech has improved. She was put on beta blockers for awhile and glad to say her tachycardia is under control. Now she does have learning issues, so I identify with that with your daughter. Your in my prayers as you find out the results.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Yes, they’re wondering if our girl is having seizures as well. I’m glad to hear your daughter is doing better! Thanks for sharing your story. That’s crazy–I didn’t even know the human heart could go that fast. How old is she now?

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  3. OH MY!! This is so funny! You write with such a great style and I love your humor! I can see your beagle now in my mind and it cracks me up. This was definitely worth having insomnia. So glad I found the post. I think you are due another Margarita! and that opossum actually looks cute laying there. BUT I know how sharp their teeth are. My Dad had a rabbit trap set out in the yard when we were little, instead he caught a opossum! The trap didn’t hurt at all, just was a cage, the opossum was NOT very happy about it at all. My Dad took the cage to the words and opened up the door of the cage wearing protective gloves , in case the opossum would get revenge. But he scurried off, just happy to be out of the cage!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I don’t have insomnia, but I’m up, too. This morning is the EEG for our girl and it’s sleep deprived so we’re up…she’s thrilled to watch a movie, so I’m the only one feeling deprived…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. OMG, I love this story! LOL. Can’t say I’ve ever seen an opossum up close before. Kind of cute for a rodent looking thing. 🙂 I’m picturing the staggering puppy and can’t help but giggle. Too funny. Love it. Thanks for sharing. Eva

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Very good story! I’m glad the opossum survived… and the drunk dog too!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lovely story and I find the dog drinking margarita quite hilarious 🙂 This is my first time hearing a dog drinking an alcoholic beverage. Speaking about drunk animals, I did hear that goats can get intoxicated with Sprite.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Animals can be good educators too 😉 When I lived with my cat, she taught me to close the wardrobe doors (and to put a bolt on one door, that she managed to insert her paw at the bottom of, pull it open and go to sleep on my usually dark clothes, leaving fine white angora hair all over).
    Now I’m sure you’ll leave Margarita’s on a high shelf 🙂
    (Never met a ‘possum before, thanks for the intro).

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Crap…that is funny. Guess the dog slept well. We call margaritas “Mommy Drink.” The kids don’t get to have Mommy Drink, but they are aware that they are in the house. My wife has about the same rate as you and we too like the frozen pouches, very handy. By the way, I think it is much better for you than Prozac and there is no side effects.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Lovely story on how there is a silver lining. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

  10. lol lol great story having seen the thousands of razor sharp teeth of the opposum ( sp?) I think you were very very brave to grab it by the tail…..

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Great, wonderful, beautiful stories- so many stories in one- I enjoyed every bit of it. Goes to show there is a silver lining to every cloud and there are laughs hidden even in the midst of sorrows.
    Thanks for sharing ! Can’t stop grinning- thanks for making my day- saving the opossum, looking after the kids and everyone else around.

    Liked by 2 people

  1. Pingback: Adoption = Brain Scan, No Cats Part 3 | Adoption =

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