Adoption = Taking Care (and I Need YOUR Help)

Recently, I’ve been a bit overwhelmed (the kids have ups and downs…we’ve been in sort of a “down” rut these last few months).

Generally, I take care of everyone. I absolutely and truly love to take care of Hubby any way I can, because he does such a great job doing the same for me (and for the kids—he’s the best dad I know). The kids require a lot of care. In addition to the typical Care and Feeding of Young Hyenas, we have a number of appointments.

Occupational therapy, speech therapy, counseling and play therapy weekly. Extra help for school twice a week. Psychiatric and medical appointments monthly. And, in the next month, we have appointments for EEG, MRI and neuropsych evaluation for our daughter, with follow-up appointments to be scheduled.

We also have several friends in tough situations, so I provide a listening ear and any help possible. As you might imagine, sometimes I exhaust my energy.

Recently, Hubby pointed out there’s one person I’m not taking good care of: myself.

I felt overwhelmed, so signed up to chat with a counselor recommended by one of the kids’ therapists. It was the best thing I could have done. After one hour, I recognized some things that need to change. Amid all the other scheduling, I’m now blocking out some time to be alone. A few more naps sprinkled through the week when I need them (I also have Lupus, so that makes fatigue more of a problem). Less catering to the kids and more teaching them self-reliance.

It’s not easy.

Because of their past neglect, I feel guilty leaving them when they want me (and they want me anytime they’re awake). I’ve realized, though, in order to give them my true focus and best attention, I need some “me” time. And honestly, they don’t need me every moment. They CAN do most things for themselves…they just enjoy having me do it for them. They also crave attention of any kind, so they work hard to keep me zeroed in on them (either by behaving well OR by doing something they know will garner some negative attention).

So, all this to say…I’ve set aside some time next week to JUST READ. Like last time, I’m asking for your help in keeping my sanity. Reading YOUR blog is like therapy. (Really.)

Please reply in the comments with link(s) to your favorite posts. Posts you’ve written. Posts of people you follow. Posts from some random blogger you happen to run across. Doesn’t matter–I’ll read it! 🙂  I’m planning to read Thursday and Friday, but if you catch this post later, feel free to keep adding links. I love recommended reading. (As you know, I’m addicted.)

Thanks for your help!

I look forward to snuggling up with my laptop. IT’S…SO…FLUFFY!

Yeah…actually it’s not fluffy. Sorry. Just watched Despicable Me with the kids for the bajillionth time. Perhaps I’ll also take time to watch a movie for adults…

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image from http://harpers-tale.wikidot.com/logs:20140730-1

About Casey

Adoption = my life. I'll give it to you straight. Success, failure, truth.

Posted on March 14, 2015, in Adoption, Blogging101 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 57 Comments.

  1. I join with everyone else to agree that you have to take care of yourself or you will be no good for anyone. Congratulations on carving out some time for yourself. You need to make it a regular process. You already follow my blog so feel free to visit anytime.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As your husband has pointed out you can’t take care of everyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first. A rundown mum can only do so much. Think about the things you enjoyed before adoption… try find a way to reintroduce one into your routine. I’ve just started walking again and it’s made a world of difference.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks–that’s a great idea. So…I used to really like going to the gym, playing piano, learning new things (was working on guitar and crochet) and women’s Bible studies at different churches (great way to get fresh perspectives) and training our animals (once, we had three cats…I had all three trained to sit, then sit up on haunches and give me high-five one at a time. I think I may have had too much time on my hands during that era…). 🙂 I’m over cat-training (although, one of the cats is still living–she’s 13– and offers me a high-five anytime I have interesting food), but I do want to start back up with crochet, guitar and the gym. I didn’t think about it until you mentioned “introduce”…I should probably make an actual plan…thanks for the inspiration! Starting with crochet, because CurvyLou has definitely talked me into that one! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Here are some early posts (my first two in fact): please read the butterfly one first, and the humming bird second. The other two on the same page (I think) are some I liked also.

    http://mumbletymuse.com/category/this-and-that/page/2/

    Also there are some other people’s blogs that I will recommend…you may already follow some of them. 🙂

    I’m going to check out the link to make sure it works, I haven’t tried urling whole pages.

    Like

  4. Oh wow! You do have a lot going on. Try to take it easy and do something for yourself too.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. If anyone deserves some ‘Metime’ it’s you. If you don’t have energy reserves from looking after yourself, how can you hope to take care of anyone else?
    Below I’ve listed a few links of blogs I love- all very ‘booky’ I’m afraid!

    My recent Wednesday Word Tangle, with a bit of off-the-cuff creative writing at the start which I was quite proud of!
    https://lynnmlovewords.wordpress.com/

    This is the great Walt Walker discussing the comparative merits of Pooh Bear and Stuart Little 🙂
    https://waltbox.wordpress.com/2015/03/09/smackdown-stuart-little-vs-winnie-the-pooh/

    Dysfunctional Literature dissect how to win a Pulitzer by breaking the writing rules.
    http://dysfunctionalliteracy.com/2015/03/15/how-to-write-an-award-winning-novel-starring-the-pulitzer-prize-for-fiction/#comment-25149

    And I love this: a little followed blog by a lady (I think!) who’s on a ten year quest to watch every Shakespeare play performed live, in memory of her beloved grandmother.
    https://desperatelyseekingcymbeline.wordpress.com/2015/03/01/a-comedy-of-errors/#more-185

    Good health and best wishes x

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Taking care of others is an important thing. However, taking care of yourself is more important.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You have done a very smart thing. It’s SO not easy to do what you’re doing and care for ourselves, and good on you for seeing that therapist and get some me time.
    My 16th year sober is coming up in April, so I’ve been reading a lot of blogs by women new to sobriety, really wanting to stick it out. Here are a few I’ve found moving and well written:
    http://unconfirmedbachelorette.com/
    https://manicpixiedrunkgirl.wordpress.com/

    And this isn’t a blog, only a rabbit hole: http://www.ravelry.com. It’s a site for knitters and crocheters, a souped-up, searchable pattern database and community. Just to, you know, enable you a little to begin crochet. (:

    Like

  8. Here is one that I like to read for a change and has a lot of horse things (which I like) http://themystichorsechronicle.wordpress.co

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oy…so many typos in my previous comment. *love reading and *world at large. The former English tutor in me can’t leave it be…LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m glad that your husband pointed out that you needed some “me” time. And try your best not to feel guilty about needing that time. Remember – you cannot do your best in taking care of other people unless you take care of yourself. So making sure that you aren’t burnt out is actually one of the most unselfish things you could do.

    For inspiration, I live reading Tiny Buddha – http://tinybuddha.com/ I feel like no matter what issue you might be going through, they have posts that really speak to it.

    For pretty pictures, interesting stories and funny things to take your mind off the word at large, Bored Panda is awesome – http://www.boredpanda.com/ This one about cats is particularly adorable and hilarious – http://www.boredpanda.com/camouflaged-cats/

    A bit of meditation for a few minutes plus a cup of tea always relaxes me as well. Or just a few minutes walking around outside. And of course, don’t forget a nice bubble bath 🙂

    Take good care of yourself 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  11. whisper2scream

    Good for you, Casey. I’ll also recommend that you use some of your time to write. You know how therapeutic it can be…plus you’re just so good at it. And perhaps you indulge yourself further by writing on a topic of your choosing that is not family related. Again, good luck on recharging your battery…it is so, so important.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. If you are looking some random stuff, I have some flash fan fiction you can read in under 5 minutes, and I try to make it funny when I can. I only really post once a week, and usually related to scifi/fantasy.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Hello, fellow carer! I am glad, Casey, you took the time to go to a counsellor. And it is great that you have a super supportive husband who will be sure that you get that “recharge” time. You have so many others who look to you for support, aside from your husband, is there anyone who is there for you?

    I have a super special friend who makes time for me once a week and just listens. And, bless her heart, she faithfully prays for me daily. If I am having a difficult time with something, I punch out a quick text message asking for prayer and she just texts back a “k” or thumbs-up to let me know she’s on her knees.

    I hope someday (if I ever slow down) to be able to do this for someone else.

    And in terms of reading . . . I follow this guy who is a father and author and teacher in China. He wrote a lovely story about a groundhog (named Thimblerig) and Noah’s Ark. At the moment he is doing a special 40 fast on the internet. His blog address is: https://thimblerigsark.wordpress.com

    Praying for you! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Take care, Casey x

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Yes, Casey, it is so very important to take care of ourselves first. We all forget that. In your case, you are doing SO MUCH that I absolutely marvel at your capabilities, resoluteness and perseverance. You are almost superhuman! I salute your spirit.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words. I don’t know about superhuman 🙂 but I definitely have great support from God and Hubby, so that makes a big difference! (Ironically, I’m putting together a superhero costume because there’s a mother-son banquet coming up. The theme is Superhero, and my son wants to be Batman. We’ll go with the typical costume for him. I’ve got a red dress and am working on getting black, yellow and green colors of belt/boots/tights/etc. so we can be Batman and “Robyn.”) 🙂

      Like

  16. I am with you on the metime thing. You do need it; God knows you do too much.
    There is a blog by Ritu called But I Smile anyway – which is guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
    https://butismileanyway.wordpress.com/
    Susie Shy

    Liked by 1 person

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