Adoption = That’s So Normal

Today, a very well-meaning individual asked me “how things are going” with the kids. She caught me at a low moment and I shared more than I normally would with someone unfamiliar with (insert any: adoption, special needs, young children, newly acquired pups and their interactions with said children, etc).

These conversations never end well. People respond with their version of either “Wow, those kids are maniacs,” or “It’s not that bad. You’re overreacting.”

Truth: most of the time, it’s neither, but sometimes, it’s both. Occasionally, the kids ARE maniacs and I AM overreacting to the situation (making it worse). I can acknowledge that hyperbole is occasionally my friend. (Actually, “overstating the likelihood that I will have a melt-down” is closer to the truth, but I really like the word “hyperbole.”)

There’s no accurate way to describe our situation to an outsider, with or without fun words.

The specifics, when I don’t feel comfortable giving details, sound fairly mundane.

“That’s just normal kid stuff. You’re being melodramatic.” She didn’t say the words, but I could translate her pauses.“She HAS to be exaggerating.”  It’s okay, though. I don’t owe her our life story, and I probably need to learn to say (to inquiring acquaintances), “We just ‘keep on keeping on!’ Thanks for asking.” or “You know. The usual.”

To be honest, as long as God and Hubby have “got my back,” I’m good.

Thankfully, they do. (Also, I have some really cool BlogBuddies.)

About Casey

Adoption = my life. I'll give it to you straight. Success, failure, truth.

Posted on March 7, 2015, in Adoption, Parent and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. whisper2scream

    Maniacs and hyperbole aside, you are an all star writer. Please promise me a signed copy when you finally decide to gather all of this into a book. Keep on keeping on, Casey.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks- I take that as a great compliment, seriously! You made my day. 🙂 Definitely, if there’s a book, you get a copy!! (maybe I should say “when.” Hubby has been telling me to write it for a couple years, now. I’m still fighting the “what if it’s no good?” monkey…)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There are definitely people that don’t get it,but like you said, its OK. I think you and your husband are a Awesome team for your AWESOME kids and YES we got your back 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think you are pretty amazing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Right back atcha! 🙂 We watched the movie Chappie tonight, set in Johannesburg. It looked different than I expected, but then again there might have been CG changes since…you know, it’s a movie. They referenced an insanely high crime rate in Jburg (in the movie) and I just looked it up…I don’t know how close you are to the city, but wow, please be careful, because it appears to not just be fiction. Don’t know if you’re familiar with them, but Yolandi Visser and Ninja (evidently part of rap group Die Antwoord) were in the movie. She’s totally adorable. I was a little shocked when I found out she’s a rapper. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, my goodness! That was just released, right? It hasn’t had its debut here yet. Most movies open several months later in South Africa than they do in the States. Chappie is a US film shot in South Africa with Sharlto Copley and Die Antwoord. (Some of our “claim-to-fame” performers. Like good ol’ Charlize Theron!) Neil Blomkamp was born in South Africa but lives in Canada now. I am not really a fan of Die Antwoord (Afrikaans for “The Answer”). I appreciate them and how they challenge stereotypes and embrace freedom of expression. But my tastes are a tad more traditional. 🙂

        There is crime all over South Africa. We don’t live close to Johannesburg (Jo’burg or “Jozi” for short). It is a 6 ½ hour drive from where we are (in Zululand, on the East Coast and Indian Ocean). But we have our share of housebreaking and armed robberies. We learn to live with everything locked up tight, bars on our windows and alarm systems. I have 15 keys to our house.

        But South Africa is an amazing place — 11 official languages and twice that many distinct accents. The cultural diversity is phenomenal, and people are beginning to embrace a national identity which is a combination of different phrases and celebrations from all different sorts of cultural influences. The country has just about everything, from gorgeous mountain ranges to lush savannah, pristine beaches to incredible deserts. The forests are abundant and diverse. The wildlife is exuberant. (Having said that, many are fighting to retain our natural heritage as the government is bent on getting as much out of the land as they can — we are beginning to frack the Karoo and dig up East Coast beaches for titanium. And we are in a war of sorts to save our rhinos from being poached into extinction!)

        If you can get your hands on “Jozi” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0z2OYAM5sA) you’d have an idea of what a typical day in Johannesburg is like (from a funny point of view). I am not sure you can find this movie in the US, as it is totally produced in South Africa. But it is so worth a watch!

        Really, I just think you should come to South Africa and see for yourself! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thank you–I was wondering what Antwoord meant. 🙂 Glad you are in a relatively safe area. When we were in Trinidad, gates on doors were commonplace, but I kinda liked them…made me feel safe. I’ll have to watch Jozi; thanks for the link. I definitely hope to visit someday; East and South Africa are both on my bucket-travel-list. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes! We’ve got your back too.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. And like u said sometimes the kids are maniacs and sometimes u r hyper (whatever u said) you have taken on a whole lot of crazy ( i mean that in the best of ways). I fostered for many years and know the crazy that it can be good or bad it is good to have a safe place to vent.

    Liked by 1 person

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