To Whom it May Concern

Pick up the nearest book and flip to page 29. What jumps out at you? Start there, and try a twist: write in the form of a letter.

My Dearest Patsy,

I’ve been meaning to write a thank-you note and am just now getting to it. Thank you again for all you’ve done for me. You’re simply amazing.

I still can’t believe it. You really saved the day. Thank you for being willing to be inconvenienced on my behalf–in this “Me First” society, that’s just not something people do anymore. I know the timing was inopportune for you, but as far as I’m concerned, you couldn’t have shown up at a better moment. If you hadn’t been there, my whole week would have gone horribly, horribly wrong. You are truly a lifesaver. I hope, one day, to repay the favor.

I heard about your sabbatical; how are things? I can’t believe you managed all-inclusive accommodations. I guess it’s karma, right? You helped me, someone helped you…super cool. Free food is my dream. Is the workout equipment as great as everyone says? I understand they also have a great research facility. (Patsy, you nerd…even when you take a break, you make sure you can keep up your education). One of these days, I really need to make time to come visit. Things have just been so busy. Work, you know.

Traveling all over South America just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I wish I had time to take an extended vacation. You’re so lucky. Sometimes life just isn’t fair…but, I suppose I can’t complain since without you, my dear Patsy, I wouldn’t even have this job. I’d probably be stuck in routine drudgery, in some corporate dungeon. You have made this possible, and I am truly thankful. As I keep saying (I just can’t stop!) you are truly an extraordinary person. Thank you, again and again. I still t don’t think I’ll ever fully understand what made you do it. Just your inner beauty, I suppose.

Well, I need to wrap this up. I have a flight to catch, but one last thing.

Like I said, I don’t know what made you wear a black mask that day; maybe you thought I’d be blamed for your robbery. Instead, you get to serve my time. Thank you, again. You were the perfect patsy. Good luck finding a lawyer. At least you have all those law books available.

And remember,

Orange is the new Black.


The real Man in Black

P.S.  Don’t even think about trying to introduce this as evidence. Why do you think I typed it (and sent it from your house)?


Thanks to my 8 year old son for leaving “Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilets” by Dav Pilkey on the coffee table. “PATSY is an acronym for Photo-Atomic Trans-Somgobulating Yectofantriplutonic-zanziptomizer.” -Melvin



About Casey

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Posted on October 14, 2014, in Blogging101, Writing101 and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. At first I thought Patsy did something really special for you…until I got to the twist. It made me laugh and now i’m reading it again from the beginning. Still laughing. Thank your son for me, great story!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awesome! Great story.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! This is great! You had me caught up in the story, trying to figure out why you were thanking her and than it all came together! How “bad” you are!:) And yes those last comments about orange is the new black and typing the letter from your house is definitely pushing the knife in further!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My word, the knife twist was bettered by the story line twist. I am in South America (Brazil), hopefully i don’t bump into you, i quite like my freedom! bravo on the story, i got the word central. lf life gives you lemons n all that!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well done. Love the disguise. And adding “Orange is the new Black.” is like twisting the knife. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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