Wait, what?

I heard my mother. Just wasn’t sure I understood. “College registration isn’t happening. They’re closing the doors.”

Most people go to college. I lived for college. The love affair began when I was 8, when my professor aunt invited us to visit. We stayed in on-campus housing. Every year following, I spent summer and school breaks roaming the halls, nosing through books in the musty little library, exploring the lush grounds and hunting lizards.

I began tagging along with the (I thought) sophisticated college kids. I couldn’t wait to attend, following family tradition. In fact, I didn’t wait. Whenever we visited during session, I sat in class, starting at age fourteen. Professors let me read materials and take quizzes. I aced them…much to the professors’ amusement and the “real” students’ dismay.

“Actual” home was a let-down; I cried for days after we returned. (Looking back, this depression was sort of pathetic, but I was a sensitive kid.) I home-schooled through my last two grades, completing them in a year. I missed a prom and all the fun of senior year, but I was single-minded. College. Can’t wait. Won’t wait. Let’s go!

Freshman year was unbelievable. My head was full of new ideas; my heart full of new experiences. And, of course, there were guys. Mature ones. (Ahh, my rose-colored lenses…)  My high school boyfriend never saw it coming, poor thing. Out you go.

Sophomore year was even better; the school moved, thanks to a merger, and we all lived in off-campus apartments near the beach. Bliss. My grades were..less stellar…second year, but I had SO much fun. Not the “I don’t remember last night because we drank ourselves to oblivion” fun. Just good, clean, real. I know now that we didn’t actually have utopia, but I wasn’t part of the darker society circle. The place was an organism, binding our souls. Friends forever. No, family. 

We parted in May with hugs, wide smiles and good intentions.

Only three months until our happy reunion in the sun.

But then, my mother called.

Lies. Infidelity.Merger redacted. School is closed. 

It’s August. Pick a new school. 

We didn’t have Facebook, Twitter or Snapchat. No texting. For that matter, no cell phones.

We never expected this. Most of us hadn’t even exchanged contact information. Where will my friends go? Where will I go?

I chose. I went. Lost, devastated and alone, I arrived at the new campus.

Then…I saw you. Tears and hugs and thankGodyou’rehere.

We can start over. Be happy. 

Maybe. We’ll see.

About Casey

Adoption = my life. I'm determined to give my kids the chance they deserve. Adoption isn't always easy. I promise, you're not alone in this. Join me at Hypervigilant.org - we're in this together.

Posted on October 4, 2014, in Blogging101, Writing101 and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. Well since you opened the door to brutal honesty…I liked this one, I like many of your posts. Your style is clean and crisp and still full of good imagery. I did see the other comments about the ending, why you wrote it the way you did. I understand that and it works but it seems so different from other things you have written. Not sure I like the “voice” of the ending as much as “voice” of the beginning, without hearing your explanation it might be too big of a shift, just a thought for consideration.
    It does sound like the experience was a really cataclysmic event in your life at the time, I would like to read how the last 2 years of college turned out for you! Mainly I hope you keep writing! No horse-hockey!
    From the 60-ish woman originally from North Jersey!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s hilarious–are you really from NorthJersey?

      Thanks! This one is giving me a bit of a fit; I can’t seem to get it quite the way I want it. Thank you for the feedback–that’s actually really helpful.

      The remaining years at college were much better, mostly thanks to making a very great friend. We are still in touch and both of us adopted children!


  2. I definitely feel your presence, even more than your voice, which is better. Sometimes we read things and we notice the words, but with this post I was drawn into the experience and identified with it. You were a prototypical nerd, as I was. I STILL love learning … always taking some class or another. College is that delicious combo of learning a and freedom but in a sheltered environment. At the end, it sort of ended abruptly … but that could be effective to lead into another chapter. I could see this turning into a young adult novel.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for your feedback! I truly appreciate the time you took both to read AND to write! 🙂

      FYI, I tried to go to your page, but it says “nothing found”…it’s just a header. If you’ve written posts, that might be something to check into.


    • Sorry if this is a duplicate–I thought I answered you, but now I don’t see it. THANK YOU for stopping by to read, and for your kind words. You’re right; I actually plan to take another look at the end, so that will be another point to check on. I have to give posts a couple of days (or weeks), then go back for rewrites. Thank you, again, for the feedback!


  3. whisper2scream

    Your voice shines through loud and clear. I’ve had a lot of conversations on the blog about voice in the past couple of days. Your piece is a fine example of your writer’s voice driving the pace and moving the reader through the emotions of this story. One question – what made you decide to write the final section the way you did. No judgment…just curious.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much for the feedback!! I always enjoy reading your comments (on mine and on others’ blogs). You have great insight.
      I actually went back and reworked the last part after reading it again today (24 hours gives great perspective). Initially, I wrote it that way because writing the piece took me back, and the emotion was just overwhelming…I could barely get it out. Funny; I thought I was over it. 🙂


      • whisper2scream

        Thank you for the compliment about my comments. It’s actually fun for me, but I’m sometimes afraid that I’ll hurt people’s feelings. As for your ending, that makes total sense.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I like honest feedback. It’s refreshing. Did you have a chance to look at the re-write? Just wondering if it flows better now.


          • whisper2scream

            It does for me as a reader, but I’m interested in your comment earlier about barely getting it out. Once I read that, the structure made more sense to me. One more thing. I’m inferring that Sharon is a familiar face from college #1, but the reader doesn’t know her. For her to appear suddenly at the end is a bit distracting. I went back to reread because I thought I had missed her earlier. No offense to Sharon, but perhaps she shouldn’t get named.

            Liked by 1 person

  4. Now this is my kinda post ;). I love it! And your voice, I could hear it loud and clear.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This was a great post, no edits on my end. Good work!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I liked this. The way you presented the information was captivating and your strong voice came through. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What you have to say and the way you say it are unique. Which means you have a voice that comes through very clearly. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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